Day 21 - Saturday, January 21, 2012My food was just plain awful today. I wasn't hungry and when I did eat, I wasn't making the best food choices.
I spent some time talking with a good friend of mine about getting my relationship with food under control and discussing the similarities and differences between alcoholism and food/sugar addiction. It's really interesting and difficult to think about at the same time. I've had food issues (binging, secret/closet eating, obsessiveness, compulsion) for as long as I can remember. I have childhood memories of sneaking into the kitchen cabinets for extra snacks, bizarre snacks. Not just normal things like cookies, but bread with peanut butter and sugar (yes, plain white sugar) or a mixture of nuts, M&Ms and goldfish crackers. All of it would be acquired in silence and eaten in solitude. I still find myself doing this sometimes. It's pretty messed up. And I know it. And I have some idea of things I can do about it, but taking that step is scary and intimidating. And I don't want to live a life without chocolate cake, but I can't make my life ABOUT chocolate cake.
Food:
Breakfast - two paleo cupcakes with dark chocolate
Lunch - pepperoni and cheese
Snack - hot chocolate
Dinner - eggs with bacon
Workout:
none, couldn't drive to GymNasty :(
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